Movies and television have characterized poker players as dull and humorless. Those who play the game know that nothing could be further from the truth. As the famous saying goes, sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying – especially when an inexperienced player hits a one-outer on the river!
“Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.” – Steven Wright, comedian
“Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.” -- V.P. Pappy, gambler
"How long does it take to learn poker, Dad?" "All your life, son." -- Michael Pertwee, playwright
“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e., everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time”. ~Terry Pratchett, author
"[Poker is] as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you could find outside an advertising agency". -- Raymond Chandler, author
"Old card players never die, they just shuffle away." – Anonymous
"Poker is generally reckoned to be America's second most popular after-dark activity. Sex is good, they say, but poker lasts longer." -- Alfred Alvarez, author
"Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money." -- Anonymous
"Besides lovemaking and singing in the shower, there aren’t many human activities where there is a greater difference between a person’s self-delusional ability and actual ability than in poker." -- Steve Badget, poker player
"I never saw a poker player’s money that I did not like." -- Oklahoma Johnny Hale, poker player and writer
"The good news is that in every deck of fifty-two cards there are 2,598,960 possible hands. The bad news is that you are only going to be dealt one of them." -- Anthony Holden, author